post industrial mediotricity

im going past the city street lights,
i see orange and it dims to a white red as i close my eyes.
i am tired.
i want to go home,i cant work like this.
what did i do to suffer this.
why did i change, as i care less of .
god! do you see me,
for i want to die ,tonight.
for i have no will,nor have i no desire,
i am not like the others,im less than a mere mortal.
for i know i dont make my parents proud but sad.
i live alone in my mind,
the only place i feel safe.